Anger Management and Aggressive Behavior
There are numerous reasons why you shouldn’t hold your feelings in; eventually as the pressure builds you can explode from exessive emotion.
With unexpressed anger, you may develop a passive-aggressive behavior where you are pessimistic and also very hostile.
However, those who don’t hold their feelings in, tend at times to be out of control. In one way, you should hold back some emotion, but you should also explain to others what you feel.
Those who are overly aggressive don’t hold in their feelings at all. In fact, they are too expressive with their anger.
When you take an anger management class, you learn how to constructively, and positively express your emotions, including anger. When it comes to anger management, you have to approach it from three different angles.
- You have to think about what to express.
- What to suppress.
- And what to do to control yourself.
There is a constant battle between express and suppress and gaining the right balance can often be a hard thing to acheive without assistance.
When you take an anger management class, be that face to face or self study, it will help you to realize that you should express your emotions through words and suppress the feelings of violence.
The methods by which you control yourself plays a big role in your anger management and in regaining long term composure.
You have to dig deep and find your triggers as well as what makes you feel safe and secure. When you have found the remedy to the poison, you will find that you can express your anger without having to hit someone or throw something.
When you are angry and aggressive you are constantly on the defensive with adrenaline levels rising. The key is to find what makes you feel secure and to keep that foremost in your mind. Eventually after thoroughly working through the techniques of anger management, a person can be completely self controllable.
Aggressive people are predictable and they have recognisable triggers, and this helps the rehabilitation progress far quicker once you know and understand exactly what triggers your violence. You are then able to find the balance between being 'assertive' and manifesting 'aggression'.
The learning process can be supported by a number of approaches, self-study for those that don't wish to engage in face to face discussion and also through the counseling and support of an anger management group and indeed this can work quite well.
Being assertive is very different when compared to being aggressive. Being aggressive can be very demanding, whilst assertiveness involves taking control on your own terms whilst at the same time being respectful of others. The key word is respect and appropriate study helps aggressive people to understand the concept of respect and how it relates to their situation.
Aggressive behavior has a lot of potential to being overcome through the development of an understanding coupled with practiced techniques moving toward long term anger management. It is also important and most helpful to support the process with the help of those around you.
Aggressive behavior needs support, because when a person feels like they are understood and someone cares for them they are able to build security and that more often than not helps to take away the need to be aggressive in the first place.
The topic of this article as well as a comprehensive program for the management of anger is explored in more detail by JJ Cooper in his program 'Anger Management regaining control of your life' which is available in Book and Audio formats.